Saturday, February 09, 2008

Why we lost at Scunthorpe

Charlton Athletic Online can exclusively reveal the real reason why Charlton succumbed last week to a relegation-threatened Scunthorpe team at Glandford Park – Socks! Yes, it was the socks fault that the Addicks lost the game 1-0.
Either side of excellent winning home performances, the result last Saturday was a real shock, and this could possibly lead to a Football League investigation.

Pedro45 can now divulge the amazing news, which had been kept under wraps for a week but was leaked via the match programme last night; internal murmurings indicate that heads will roll due to this oversight by the programme editor and picture researcher!

So what, you may ask, has the result got to do with the blue socks the team wore?

Pedro45 has learnt that Kelly Youga and other un-named members of the squad had a bet prior to the match, unbeknown to manager Alan Pardew, which the Frenchmen won. The forfeit for losing this bet was that all the team, barring Youga, were made to play the game against Scunthorpe with their socks on the wrong way round.
Have you ever worn long socks the wrong way round? It is very uncomfortable, especially if you then have to not only put on football boots, but try to kick a football too. The blue socks are meant to be worn with the CAFC lettering to the front of the sock, and the Joma logo at the rear.
Youga was the only Addick with his socks on the right way (see left), and therefore the only player comfortable in his footwear, and capable of making a decent pass.

The evidence was carried on pages 30 and 31 of last nights programme, where the forfeit is clearly evident in a number of the photographs from that game, and they show the level of discomfort the rest of the side were in during that match, bar Kelly, . Evidence is contained in some of the damning images which are reproduced here too - you can tell from the expressions on Andy Gray (top pic) and ZiZi's (bottom) faces that they are feeling the pain, whereas Youga looks positively happy.

Other blogs may claim that it was in fact simply Kelly who had his socks around the wrong way, but with the fantastic form being shown by Charlton’s left back in recent weeks, that simply cannot be the case. Youga has been outstanding since he came into Pardew’s side early in January, with consistent high class performances. How could anyone play as well as he is with his socks on backwards!?!

Pedro45 believes that Youga’s sock prank on the rest of the team is the sole reason for the poor performance in Lincolnshire, and does go some way to explaining Darren Ambrose’s poor corner kicks, plus Yassin Moutaouakil’s feeble attempt to clear the cross which led to the only goal of the game.

Alan Pardew has banned any further betting and/or forfeits of this kind, and is understood to have added front and back labels to the inside of the team socks in an effort to prevent any of the side being duped at future matches. Sadly, rumour reaches Pedro45 that Darren Ambrose failed to check these labels last night…

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